Texifornian Tales

Singin' After Midnight...

2009-10-09T15:10:00.000-07:00

My roommate has now got me hooked on Kareoke, which is kinda funny with me being the shy, introverted person that I am. While I did sing in talent shows and such as a kid, as an adult I've always just been a car/shower/in apartment by myself singer, so I never thought I'd really get up the nerve to try it in front of people again. But I gotta admit, it's really beginning to grow on me. I freakin LOVE it! Now I catch myself listening to the radio and thinking, "Oh! I gotta try that one next time!!"

Thursday night is Kareoke night at this little comfortable neighborhood tavern place nearby. While I love all kinds of music, my voice/style just seems to fit the country genre the best (ha, big shock, I know...). Last night I even went old school country for the first time and did the Patsy Cline version of "Walkin' After Midnight" which I think might be my new favorite. Another one I like to do now is "Kerosene" by Miranda Lambert.... partly because I had that song on constant repeat when it first came out, and also because I love to see people's faces when the quiet girl gets up and sings a song that involves cheating, shooting, and lighting things on fire. (Next time I'll have to do Miranda's "Gunpowder & Lead".... haha).

Yep, it's always the quiet ones who surprise you. (LOL).

Thankful

2009-09-16T23:05:00.000-07:00

It’s now almost officially been three years since I left California, so I’ve been doing a lot of thinking these days about the year I left and why I came here, and what has changed since I have (um, everything?). Looking back on it, it seems crazy by all accounts. I have no blood relatives here. I knew a grand total of 3 people in the entire state when I first moved here in the fall of 2006. I’m still not entirely sure why I did it, only that I just wanted to try it, and I just randomly wound up coming to Dallas in August of 2006 and decided when the plane landed at DFW airport this was it. I flew back, packed up what I could, and drove out in October. I had lived in the Bay Area for as long as I could remember and wanted to try living somewhere completely different (not to mention - a lot cheaper, especially a couple years ago), even if it was just for awhile.

The last two years or so in California had been a little chaotic. I had married young (while I was still in school) and while I won’t go into all the details here - it didn‘t work out, to say the least. Up until that point in my life, everything had been planned out. I’d never done anything remotely spontaneous. I’d never truly lived on my own and was still dependent on other people (my ex, my family, etc) to get by -- financially and emotionally. I really didn’t know squat about squat looking back on it now, to say the least. It was unfortunate to learn that lesson in such a painful way, and that year that followed was a difficult one but it really did make me a lot stronger and optimistic in the long run. (I did overdo the partying during the first year or so, but fortunately nothing *too* bad -- No police record, for instance. Not that I know of anyway.) I was also very blessed with a lot of really good people in my life right at the time that all went down, who were definitely not there by accident. It really forced me to grow up, stand on my own and let go, and just trust with all the faith I had during that difficult time that everything indeed happens for a reason and it would turn out for the better. And it ultimately did, and then some. It was hard, but in the end - I consider it all a blessing.

My parents moved to Washington State about a year or so later to start a new life, and so I just decided to try the same thing, different location. Moving out here on my own was one of the most adventurous and scary things I ever did. It could have been a total disaster…. but it wasn’t. I found I reconnected with God again and experienced that love in ways I could not have even imagined through the kindness and love of my adopted “Texas family” made up of a network of people I met through work, through church, through volunteering, and other avenues of life. I let go of the old hurts and bitterness I left California with, and experienced the power of forgiveness - for others, for myself. For that I am eternally grateful. That spontaneous, crazy decision definitely changed everything -- for the better.

I don’t even remember what I thought my life was going to be like here. Only that I’m sure it’s quite a bit different than I originally thought it would be, though that’s life I suppose. My original plans or ideas have gone by the wayside. The silly things I used to worry about before don’t matter a whole lot anymore. And in a weird way, being so far away from family and my longtime friends on the West Coast also made me love and appreciate them all the more. Life is ultimately unpredictable and can take so many unexpected turns, so I’m not saying I’ll never move back, of course. Never say never, though I have no plans or intentions to do that anytime soon. (Though as the saying goes of course, “If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans…”)

So now with this fall season marking my 3rd anniversary here, I am so grateful for these past three years, and for everyone who has been a part of this interesting journey. Love you all! (Or should I say: “Luv Y’all!)

What Was Your First Job?

2009-08-28T10:46:00.000-07:00

Since I haven't had much entertainment and/or drama to update my blog with lately (I know, sorry), I'm stealing Livejournal's Writers Block question today and cross-posting it onto Blogger. Feel free to post your own responses in the comments. Love to hear them!

What Was Your First Job?

Monkey Wards when I was 16... at Westgate Mall. I worked in the women's dept doing the registers and fitting rooms. It was a summer job... I think they were already bankrupt or close to it by then and the registers were probably older than I was, so they would freeze and lock up constantly. Especially on sale days. There were some fun people who worked there though... I definitely learned a lot from it, and our store manager was a really nice guy. They wound up going out of business within a year or two after that though.

Dreams & Dancing in the 00's

2009-07-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

I realized today that we are 5 months away from a new decade. I wonder what "label" this decade will have...it's not as easy as "the 90's" "the 80's" etc... I kinda like the "double-0's" but maybe that's just me. So what I've decided to do is to read through my journals from 2000-2009. This may take awhile, there is a lot of ground to cover, and mostly anything prior to mid-2006 I haven't even wanted to read. One of the best things about journaling regularly is that it makes it really obvious (many times painfully so) how much you have grown and how far you've come on all levels- emotionally, spiritually, intellectually. In the year 2000 I went through all my 1990's journals and wrote about it, I remembered how weird and entertaining it was.

So far I've only made it 1/4 through 2000 (January-April) and I'm already annoyed. I know I was 17, but still.... was I really that annoying? It's all about this guy I crushed forever in high school and how I was convinced that one day, he would suddenly fall in love with me and we would get married and have babies. Um, yeah. I think I OD'ed on chick flicks back then. Live and learn. And then the other half of the journal is about going to see Conan O'Brien's show in NYC which I babbled on for about a hundred pages. As mentioned previously, Conan was my celebrity crush (ok, and still kinda is, to a less fanatical extent). It was sorta funny to read that part though... I was sitting in the front row at his show and he came out for the warm-up, dancing with this little slow hip-swaying motion right by my chair. My poor teenage brain just about exploded. It obviously effected me. I wrote about it quite a bit. LOL

I haven't read through these ones in looong time, so I'm sure some other interesting stuff is in there... if you have journals/blogs, I'd recommend doing this also if you can. Even just for fun!

Weather Relief Soon...

2009-07-11T11:59:00.000-07:00

I leave for the WA coast Saturday, July 25th and then come back Saturday, August 1st.

Being in the Pacific Northwest sounds refreshing especially because we're all triple digits in Dallas-Ft Worth right now. Today it is supposed to hit 101, yesterday I think Ft. Worth was about 104, and at 10 pm it was still 97.

I don't even bother paying close attention to the forecasts anymore this time of year. Not like during winter and spring where you have to pay attention to make sure you don't put on the wrong clothes. Aside from the refreshment of an occasional thunderstorm, we'll roast until early September. Then it will be in the 90's until October. "Fall" is pretty short, usually. It happens when the temperature suddenly drops from 85'F to 30'F in about two hours - usually this occurs in November. and then suddenly there are naked trees and leaves everywhere. I know how this works by now!

Remember The Time

2009-07-08T19:57:00.001-07:00

I hesitated to post this because the Michael Jackson media coverage has been major overkill (nothing wrong with tributes, obviously, but analyzing the 911 tape, posting the death certificate, play-by-play analysis of the funeral.... and pretty much everything that's been on CNN in the last week - so not necessary) So if you're tired of it, feel free to skip over this blog.

I think the reason people react so strongly to a famous musician's death is because of how music is so closely associated with our emotions, and the way certain songs from the past instantly bring back vivid memories and the way we felt back then. Even though I wasn't an MJ fanatic, I still knew many of his songs of course, and appreciated his music and what he did as an artist. And while watching the memorial and all the tributes I realized I had quite a few funny memories involving his songs.

When I was preschool, I was sitting at a table with a little boy and we were coloring - this was probably sometime around 1987 or '88. The little boy started coloring wildly outside of the lines, and started singing, "I'm bad, I'm bad, you know it..." I had no idea what that even was, except that I thought it was a cool song so I decided to sing with it too. The teacher was pretty quick to shut that down and told us to sing a song about being good, not a song about being "bad."This is probably one of my earliest memories I even have of anything, and Michael Jackson was involved. Go figure.

A couple years later, when I was in 2nd grade, my school at the time had a dance aerobics instructor come once a week. All the elementary school kids would pour into the cafeteria and we got to spend an hour dancing and exercising. The class was lead by this buff guy named Jerome who had day-glo exercise shorts and long braids that he pulled back into a loose ponytail. Needless to say, Jerome was pretty hot by 1991 standards. I still remember how cool I thought that class was, especially since Jerome would play actual music that was popular at the time (age-appropriate, obviously) and not the little kid music for babies. We would all dance around and shout. Two songs I remembered he played every week were "Remember The Time" and "Black or White." To this day, whenever I hear those songs, I feel happy and want to dance around like a little kid again, and remember Jerome and the exercise class. Those are my two favorite songs by Michael Jackson even still, because of the happy memory associated with them. So wherever you are Jerome, I hope you're still rockin' the MJ with your bad self, and your kids' aerobics class.

Even later on in my life.... I remember when "You Are Not Alone" came out when I was entering my teen years during a pretty rough time. I remember years after that, sitting in a jacuzzi with my friend Eva, drinking mudslides and singing along with "Billie Jean" (definitely one of the coolest - if not THE coolest - pop songs ever, musically speaking) after we'd both ended long-term relationships. I think she even recorded me doing the "hee-hee" on her cell phone.

The first time I hung out with John at his apartment after we first started dating (July of last year), that same song came on the radio. He started dancing around like a madman and moonwalking like a champ. It was then that I realized any MJ song has this effect on him - especially that one. So from then on, whenever I'd hear MJ, I'd always think of John. I even had a MJ ringtone for him for awhile. John was the first person I called when the news broke on the radio, and he was literally in tears. :(

So that's my small tribute to Michael Jackson.... one of millions I'm sure. R.I.P.

Well, it HAD been a mild spring...

2009-06-11T15:03:00.000-07:00

The NWS hasn't confirmed it yet, but it appears a tornado touched down in the Flower Mound area last night. Not a big one, thankfully - but still with crazy winds like nobody's business. I posted a couple cell phone pics on my Facebook of the aftermath... I'll try to get more after work if I see anything, and I have some more of the omnious clouds on my digital camera at home. There is a soccer goal post from the local Y hanging off a bush behind my office right now. Thankfully, I've yet to hear of any major injuries or deaths from insurance customers or friends or on the news. There are toppled trees, branches and fence and roof parts all over the place though. Several neighborhoods are still without power. I was pulling pieces of roof shingle off of my car this morning. Most of our insurance customers who have called today so far are reporting roof damage, skylights and windows breaking, and trees falling into their homes or cars. Some trees also came down on cars in our apartment complex. Fortunately, it looks like they were all smaller trees so hopefully no one's car was in need of major repair.

It was so wild... seriously... probably one of the worst storms I've been in since moving to Texas in 2006. I was on the balcony trying to get a video of the cloud rotation outside (I'd probably be a storm chaser if I had the cajones for it) when a HUGE gust of wind sent my rooommate Dawn and I sprinting back inside the apartment. Too bad that in my panic I forgot to save the video - it was probably hilarious. *rotating clouds, followed by a whoosh and rain splatters on the lense* "@#@$!%#$##!!!" *camera turns back toward patio door and bounces inside apartment*

My cat, Starr, was actually smart enough to go inside the bathroom cabinet under the sink. A very safe place for him to be, when you think about it. My roommie's two cats, however, were all up in the windows, wanting to go outside. We tried to put them in the bathroom but they ran out before we could close the door. LOL ("Fine, you idiots!" was her response). We stayed in the kitchen area, near the utility room, with our wine-in-a-box. (we're real high class over here) until it was over.

The thunder/lightning/rain has been nonstop, though the tornado threat is pretty much gone for the time being. I swear it's been going on since yesterday around 6:30 pm. I slept for about 3 hours, if that. At least I had just gotten a couple "Big Love" DVD's from Netflix to keep me occupied (yes, I know... a guilty pleasure ok?). And there's been nothing but claims and coverage questions since I got into work this morning. I hope it stops at 5 so I can sleeeeeeep. At least stop for a few hours? But here's to being thankful that everyone is ok!

Way to go, FM...

2009-06-10T11:12:00.001-07:00

I posted this on Facebook earlier, but this was just unbelievable.

http://www.myfoxdfw.com/dpp/news/10YearOld_Jailed_for_Fight_wi

I love how they use the state "domestic violence" law as an excuse.... so, can you tell me why you don't see this happening in Dallas or Ft Worth? Certainly those kids have sibling rivalry too? Oh wait, those are big cities with real problems and actual criminals.

Strong Language

2009-06-04T15:08:00.000-07:00

Since moving to the south, I've noticed I don't cuss very much anymore. Casual cussing is not as common down here as it was in the Bay Area, so gradually anything other than an occasional frustrated bad word has just dropped out of my vocabulary. Now I hardly even notice it unless I read old blog or personal journal entires from a few years ago that are a bit more, um, colorful. I'm not offended by it as long as there aren't little kids around, but obviously didn't want to offend anyone else.

Unless I'm really mad, of course. Yesterday I had a really frustrating day. There were multiple reasons why. I guess I had not slept very well and having hormonal issues on top of that, and just multiple stressors at work - more than usual. I'm careful about what I blog about on a public forum obviously - just overhwelmingly frustrating issues. In a nutshell - it was really "one of those days."

And I have no other other coworkers to vent to, so obviously I was telling John about it on the phone and I had to vent, even though there's really not much I can do about any of it. I was probably the most "colorful" he had heard me to so far.... He started randomly cussing back to try to be supportive - but it was kind of like in "What About Bob" where Bull Murray just throws out a bunch of random cuss words and it makes no sense. (LOL) Then I just started laughing, so bad mood was over. No more cussing. Today so far is better than yesterday... at least quieter.

On another note, my roommate got rid of a bunch of her clothes and I completely pilfered the donation pile. So I've been wearing her clothes for about two weeks now - some things even still had the tags on them. And after numerous failed and depressing attempts at bathing suit shopping this season, it turned out she had a black bathing suit in the pile that fit me just right. And it was free. Even better. Most women will appreciate how wonderful that is! (She also gave me a little baby outfit - yeah, that was really subtle. ;-) )

Silly Post

2009-06-02T10:44:00.001-07:00

Yeah, so I probably could think of something more important and profound to write about. But instead I'm posting about this silliness from last night. Oh well.

As some of you know, when I was in high school in the late 1990's (like around 16-17ish) my "teen idol" was Conan O'Brien. I had thousands of VHS tapes of his shows and pictures of him all over my room. I think there might be still some insane barfy fansite out in cyberspace I made with an old school html editor with all kinds of obsessive crap on it. He wasn't married with kids yet at the time, so somehow I felt this meant I would marry him. I was nuts, but in a hilarious 16-year-old sort of way. I even have some scrapbook somewhere where I pasted our heads on a bride and groom ad... yes, really! LOL.

I told John about it awhile ago and ever since then, he sarcastically refers to him as "my boyfriend" and always mentions about how stupid his hair looks. And doesn't get how I went from a blindingly white Irish guy to an African but whatever, I like a variety LOL.

So Conan recently went on hiatus for about 3 months and took over hosting The Tonight Show this week. Last night I was so ridiculously giddy watching his debut that I felt 16 all over again, it was so fun. I think it was because Andy Ritcher (who left the show in late '99, I think) was back on the show with Conan and Max, so it triggered all these funny memories from 10 years ago when they were all talking together at the beginning of the show again. It'll probalby wear off, but I really thought I was over my crush on him by now? Apparently not... and I don't think I ever will be! Haha. Now John is saying he is going to steal my digital converter box when I'm not looking. "What-everrr." (LOL)

When was the last time I wrote an entry about Conan O'Brien? Jeez...

Fattening Herbs

2009-05-06T10:39:00.000-07:00

Last night, John was talking about starting to exercise and eat healthier, and I told him at some point during this conversation, "I try not to eat carbs late."

He heard this as, "I try not to eat parsley."

I wish it were that easy!

Meaning of Life/Work

2009-04-20T15:17:00.000-07:00

This feels like the slowest Monday ever. Maybe it's good that my regular volunteer assignment for the ICU will be on Saturday morning instead of Sunday, so I'll have a day between that and my regular job. I went yesterday because the other volunteer was supposed to show me what to do before I started this coming Saturday. And I'm findng that going there on Sunday, and then trying to back to this job on Monday is not happening so well. It's hard to go directly from life-and-death situations back to this. I know I'm trying to work my way out of it and that's a big part of why I'm volunteering at the hospital, but still.

When I was in college I volunteered a lot, since it was part of my Liberal & Civc Studies major - which is what originally gave me the motivation to want to work in a service-oriented profession as opposed to a corporate/business oriented one. My hardest project, and by far the one I loved the most, was working at an AIDS center that provided services to people all over the East Bay Area. My particular assignment was in Richmond, CA, and involved dropping food off at the clients' houses, which left me feeeling waaaay out of my 19-year-old middle class comfort zone at first. But in the end, I wound up working more hours than needed and found it really difficult to move on and say goodbye to the people there. My assignment the following semester in uppity suburban Walnut Creek was a lot easier and probably safer, but after that experience, I thought it was boring and went to work at a tutoring center in Oakland instead. I barely even remember what I did at the Walnut Creek one, but I can remember so much about the people I met through the AIDS center and the working with the middle schoolers in Oakland.

After college though, I don't know what happened, honestly. I had a lot of other things in my life that needed to be straightened out first and, while I knew I really liked working with people who needed help due to illness and/or socioeconomic status, I wasn't sure for awhile which career to follow and what additional education was needed, so I wound up where I am simply due to a path of least resistance. Which probably explains why I've felt so frustrated.

I'm sure this is a sign that I'm headed in the right direction though.

Phone Happiness

2009-04-13T16:07:00.000-07:00

Oh, and, on a materialistic note, I resigned my contact with my mobile carrier and finally got a new phone - the LG Shine. It is probably the most awesome phone I've ever had. Which probably isn't saying much, if you've seen my previous phones. And no, it is not as cool as the iPhone or Blackberry, but I wanted the coolest phone I could get for free, because I can't justify spending $100-$200 for a phone at the moment. On Saturday my thumb hurt because I kept looking at all the features and playing games on it. I also downloaded the Wikipedia Mobile app on it, so now I can look up whatever pops into my head at any time, day or night. There are other time-wasting apps like that available, but restrained myself.

Technology is so amazing. It was only 7 years ago I had one of these (memories). Now I can watch TV shows on my phone. Go figure.

Changes

2009-04-13T15:52:00.000-07:00

I was bored at lunch today and started looking at my old blog's archive from 4-5 years ago.

It's like reading someone' else's journal now, but no matter how cringe-worthy some entries or events seem now.... I think that's a good thing. My life is so much more stable now than it used to be. Even though I'm still not totally where I want to be, I'm working on it, I have a definite direction I'm heading in. I know I deserve better than I've given myself credit for in the past. The older entries reflect negative self-esteem, a lot of anger over the end of a long-term relationship that resulted in a short-lived marriage, and that I was planning life around drinking and/or going out nearly every weekend... glad I'm not there anymore. And oh, the drama. After breaking up with my ex at that time, I always seemed to go after men who were emotionally detached or unreliable, or otherwise just had a ton of drama in their lives.

I think sometimes those last two years or so in California are related to my hesistancy to go back there. I have friends and old coworkers there I really miss and would love to see, but at the same time - those last two years there were so draining I think it would be weird to go back to the Bay Area for that reason. I'm sure I will, I need to, and in a way it will be good because I've grown so much emotionally, mentally, and spiritually since leaving.

Not that life is perfect now. It never is, of course, things progress and change all the time. I'm overall so much happier with myself and life now though than I was a few years ago, and definitely thank God for that!

A horse with stripes

2009-04-08T10:27:00.000-07:00

Reading through my old blog archives, I found this from almost 3 years ago today.... a customer from my old job who called in for a tracking number.

Customer: Can I have a tracking number?

K: Ok, it's 1, Z as in ZEBRA...

Customer: Zebra? What is this Zebra?

K: Um... (disbelief they actually just asked that)

Customer: You know anything else that begins with that letter? I no understand what is this Zebra. What is a Zebra?

K: It's like a horse with stripes.

Customer: Ohhhh..

K: They live in Africa....

Customer: I see. A ZEBRA!

Busy weekend...

2009-04-06T11:04:00.000-07:00

Busy weekend... the church had a women's retreat, so I wound up running media on both Saturday night and Sunday morning for this Palm Sunday weekend, since the other volunteers were at the retreat. It was fun though, I've found I like doing that a lot... but usually just do every other week (on Saturday night).

Then, last night my roommate brought the house down for her 50th birthday, and had a party at this little neighborhood bar/tavern kind of place that she goes to kareoke and also knows a bunch of people. Dawn knows people from alllll walks of life.... From the more reserved/conservative Texas church folks to, well, crazy partiers. This made the party interesting....Even her sons represent the opposite sides of the spectrum. The older one left the party early, whereas the younger one basically shut the bar down with one if his equally-if-not-more crazy friends. Our friend Patti has evidence on her blackberry of their crazy line-dancing-run-amok, including a couple shots of her having to duck out of the way to avoid being injured.

I had promised Dawn I would do a song since she loves singing (she sings for 2 different churches and also frequents kareoke night at the bar). Since most of the music was country (this is Texas after all), I did "Kerosene" by Miranda Lambert, one of my favorite contemporary country artists. I was rather nervous at first... but one beer later, I also did "Something More" by Sugarland, and by that point I was dancing and drawing out the long notes... LOL... people said I was good, though, but then again there were some who were, um, not so good. But being good is hardly the point of kareoke anyway. So...now Dawn is going to try and keep me going to kareoke now on Thursdays with her... it was actually really fun though, once I got past past feeling self-conscious, and Dawn's son's friend yelling "SORRY I ATE YOUR CHICKEN!!!!"... lol... (they had visted our apartment a week or so ago and raided the fridge, apparently)

So it was a late night... and then I had to go back to the hospital's employee clinic at 7 AM this morning to get my TB test read for my volunteer work... I had the inital test done on Friday and they have to read it within a certain amount of time, hence why I went in soooo early. On a normal day it would have been fine but I think I slept about 4 hours. I've gotten away from daily coffee drinking for the most part... but right after I left the hospital I went to McDonald's for a giant black coffee and egg McMuffin before work. At least I don't have anything going on after work today, and I'm way too tired for anything to irritate me right now.

Next step....

2009-03-31T15:42:00.000-07:00

I had my volunteer interview at the hospital this afternoon and I’m going to start training the week after Easter to volunteer in the ICU helping with patient services. It will be once a week on Saturday for 4 hours. I’m sure it will be intense and I definitely wasn’t expecting to get put in the ICU right off the bat - but I'm okay with that. I’m still sure it will be a really important experience if I go on to study nursing this fall.

Not sure how to even prepare (emotionally) or what to expect. I know this is not going to be an easy thing to do, but at the same time, I'm really looking forward to it and excited to be taking this step, and hoping that feeling means I'm headed in the right direction.

Writer's Block: First Things First

2009-03-25T10:56:00.000-07:00

Livejournal had a "writer's block" question recently that was "Who (or what) do you consider to be your first love?"

I posted this, which I'll post here on blogger too, because I have no shame about my past.

Pat Simmons from the Doobie Brothers. I had the biggest crush on him when I was 10, and he would have been in his early 40's I think at that time. The Doobie Brothers first became popular about 12 years before I was even born. I used to have this loft bed that was up high, and I put curtains around the edge underneath was like a secret room, where I hung up old vinyl album covers from the DB's and drawings I did of Pat. I called it my "Private Pat Room." LOL

To explain - from about age 10 until around 13 or so, I was completely obsessed with the music scene of the 60's and 70's. I rarely even listened to anything contemporary until around age 14 or 15 unless I was with friends or other kids from school or youth group.

I've probably blocked out the craziest things I did back then, but I remember going to Loma Preita in the Santa Cruz Mountains and taking pictures by the city limits sign and to see if Pat lived there, because of the lyrics in the Doobies' song "Neal's Fandango" that said "Goin' back, I'm too tired to roam / Loma Prieta my mountain home / On the hill sabove Santa Cruz / To the place where I spent my youth..." I found out later on he actually lived much further north... since... you know, "Neal's Fandango" came out in the mid-70's, and this would have been around '93 or '94.

Yeah, I kind of had some issues back then. But it was fun, and I saw them live in California several times after that. Whenever I hear the Doobie Brothers now, I always feel happy. How can anyone hear "Listen To The Music" and NOT feel happy?

California

2009-03-20T14:41:00.000-07:00

I think I need to go back to California soon, for a visit. I still haven't been back since 2006. For awhile I needed to adjust to being here, and also just didn't have the money to spend on that sort of thing. I had planned to go back in the fall of 2007 but it fell through because of other circumstances at the time. I've been thinking a lot about the people back there lately, and how sad I am I have not seen them for almost 3 years now.

Maybe during the summer when it's blazingly hot everyday. That's when the cool Northern CA coast always sounds good. I'll start looking for airfare specials.

Happy Spring

2009-03-16T16:12:00.000-07:00

Now that I'm getting older, time seems to fly even faster than it did before. It's already spring again. Allergies and humid air, and rapid temperature swings (50 yesterday, 78 today. yay) and I'm sure pretty soon the 5-day forecast will have lightning bolts all over it.

This is my third spring in Texas. I I was driving through Addison last night, where I spent a lot of my first year or so here... and thought about this one night down there where I was driving white-knuckled on the steering wheel of my car in terror with lightning bolts crashing down everywhere and torrential rain... and the guy I was seeing back then was just babbling away in the passenger seat like nothing was unusual, as if it was all happy and sunny out. I was thinking, ok, this is normal? (Yep. It is.) I think that was around March of 2007 -- it's probably in my old blog because I blogged about the weather all the time that year. In my defense though, that spring and 2007 in general was one of the wildest weather years that North Texas had seen for awhile. Remember when it didn't stop raining for about 3 months? I used to commute from Denton to Flower Mound back then, and I remember driving over Lewisville Lake bridge, and the water level was so high there were picnic tables in the middle of the water, and the bridge appeared to be only a couple feet over the lake. I also nearly got stuck in high water a couple times... because it was completely unavoidable if you had to drive anywhere. It was crazy.

I also realized that as of March, I've now officially had a blog for 4 years - I started in March 2005 on Livejournal. I went back and read some of those entries today, before my face hurt from all the cringing. (There was a lot of drama in my life back then - and immaturity and selfishness as well). I've kept handwritten journals since I could write complete paragraphs (about 3rd grade or so - some of those are HILARIOUS, I'll have to copy them here sometime). One of the best things about writing is the opportunity to see how much you really grow and change over time.

Speaking of time flying... I've been dating my beau John for 9 months now, even though I still call him my "new" boyfriend sometimes, but just to people I don't talk to all that often. LOL. It started last summer.... I remember because I showed up 1/2 hour early to our first date at Vista Ridge to make sure all the sweat dried up since it was million degrees out and my car AC did not work anymore. (Texas summer, another fun season. First humid and stormy, then you just bake for the remaning 3-4 months. Whoohoo!) It's crazy how fast everything moves now.

My new favorite "non-cuss" word

2009-03-12T15:47:00.001-07:00

Last night on the news, they were talking about an incident in Denton where some cars and windows were shot out with a BB gun. The best part of the story, however, was this older gentleman who was describing his neighborhood, and said something along the lines of (with strong Texas drawl, of course), "Well I looked down the rest of the street, and I thought, oh foot, they got everyone all the way down to University!" (somewhat paraphrased)

My roommate (Dawn) and I just looked at each other and asked, "Did he just say 'Oh, foot'?"

Oh foot, he sure did. I think I'm going to start saying that now.

Goals

2009-03-04T11:37:00.000-08:00

I've put it off for awhile, but I am really feeling a pull towards finially starting back at school this fall to get an assoicate's in nursing. I went ahead and requested a volunteer application from Baylor Hospital too, so I can at least get started in some basic experience around that evnironment to make sure it's for me.... not sure how long it takes to process that. I know I belong in a service-oriented, people-centered profession, and have been interested in the human body/mind and health care for awhile. It also helps that it's recession-proof and I think the starting pay is almost twice what I make right now (literally). Plus while my job isn't bad, I can tell my heart is not in it. I'm the type of person that needs a cause or meaning to work for.

It will take awhile. I've been out of school for 5 years, and I'm sure I'll have to retake some of the general education science courses again since I last would have taken that around the year 2000/2001-ish. It's just as well, after being out for awhile I'd need a major refresher anyway. That's where I plan to start.

I figured now would be a good time because I have a well-running slightly older car that is paid off. Not all, but a lot of my debt has been paid down too. My life is a lot more stable and settled than it used to be when I first came to Texas, but I still don't have kids yet. And if I do have kids a couple years down the road, I'd like to be able to provide a LOT better than I could working customer service-type jobs. I've known since I graduated I needed to go back to get some kind of additional degree or training, but my life took some major unexpected turns right around that time and I went through prolonged periods of just trying to survive day-to-day and also financial stress. Not to mention that whole part where I moved halfway across the country a couple years ago in my car. lol

Life = Everyday Adventure

2009-02-27T11:05:00.000-08:00

Been doing a lot of soul searching career-wise these days. It's not just my job, it's the direction my career is going, and what I really see myself doing in life. I wound up in the clerical/customer service world because of (a) I have a broad Liberal Arts Degree that was awesome to study and experience but it's in nothing specific and most jobs you get that kind of degree for require masters or additional certification. And (b) I was going through some major life changes around the time I graduated and wound up in customer service because it happened to be available, Did I really want to be doing insurance when I was in college? Not really, but it's not bad. It pays the rent, I get along pretty well with the agent I work for, and it's only 3 miles from my apartment along with most of my life and local friends.

One thing I find my mind drifting back to though is going back to school at night- even just a local community college - to study medical assisting or nursing (preferably the latter). I've thought about this off and on for about 10 years - especially interested in the women's health/OBGYN field. I've regretted not enrolling in SMC's nursing program instead while I had the chance (and while the parents were helping pay for school in addition to loans I took out), even if it would have taken a couple extra years. But it's never too late. In about 6 months, I will have my biggest, baddest, most evil credit card paid off ("student card cards" = bad idea.) ... the one that takes most of my money in the middle of the month. I have some othe rmore minor debts to take care of but that's the biggest one right now. That, along with being able to defer student loan payments due to being back in school should give me a lot more extra than I have currently. Right now... I'm thinking in the meantime looking into volunteering somewhere to get a feel for it, and see about maybe enrolling for Fall or Winter. I had thought about this awhile back but was not doing ok financially and still had my old car that I knew I was going to have to replace, and I had no idea what kind of payments I would be looking at for that. It wasn't time yet. Luckily I was blessed with the '01 Mits. Not brand new obviously but it's in good condition and it's paid for. Should hold up for at least another 4-5 years or so, hopefully.

Speaking of my old car, I went to John's complex last night because we decided to to work out together at least twice a week. Anyway, we almost wound up having a pre-workout warmup because he decided we should take the Deathmobile (my former 93 Ford Taurus) to the complex gym because it was parked closer to his apartment than his other newer car. I was okay with walking, but he wanted to drive. (Men.) Now... in my previous experience with Deathmobile, everytime I did something lazy like that at my old apartment complex (like driving it to the mailbox or trash bin instead of walking) it would always die right in front of whatever location I drove it to, sort of like it was punishing me for being lazy. So I knew it would die when he stopped to get something out of his other car and of course it totally spazzed out right in the middle of the parking lot lane. We started to push it to an empty spot after cranking it, hitting the dashboard, and calling it "damn car" for a few minutes, and after going a few feet I asked John to try to start it again. It started right up. That car is still possessed. So thankful that's not my daily life anymore!

So we went to the gym, and a few residents were there for an exercise group that meets a couple times a week. John is a lot more extroverted than me, so right when we walked in, he announces to everyone, "Hello everyone! I am John, and this my girlfriend, Kristeen!" (he adds an extra long "e" there). So after that, we pretty much had to join the group. Everyone was really nice and supportive, but it was HARD. It was like an apartment boot camp - running around the complex in circles, pushups, squats, lunges, etc.. One of the trainers even looked exactly like Dr. Ian from "Celebrity Fit Club." I tried to do too much and hadn't eaten much beforehand, so I wound up sitting out due to dizziness during the second half. John was also lying on the grass at one point. We're going back next week but have decided not to try to be so competitive and keep up with everyone else until we are actually able to. And definitely eat beforehand.

Very sore today. Wow! TGIF.

Horray

2009-02-24T15:02:00.000-08:00

As someone who was completely obsessed with and in love with Conan O'Brien in high school (late 1990's, and I have psychotic scrapbooks to prove it), this news made me more happy than it probably should have:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090224/ap_en_ot/tv_tonight_show_richter

Update

2009-02-24T11:36:00.000-08:00

I hope I'm not sounding like a granny in my blog lately, with all my drugs and ailments. (LOL)

I went to a regular doctor on Friday for my post-ER follow up, and she put me on another, slightly stronger medication and told me she wants me to lose about 40 lbs within a year (Which I guess it's good I lost a bunch of weight already... so it wasn't "100 lbs by next year"). So I'm on a whole grain/veggies/fish and chicken kind of diet right now. I'm pretty creative with using what I have, and pretty good at seasoning now without using a lot of salt, so I can still make things taste pretty good. LOL. But the bad news is that she took blood on Friday also, and, in addition to the blood pressure issue, my bad cholesterol is high for my age (also runs in the family), my sugar was high for my age too - not to a diabetic level, but definitely a concern since I have a family of that too (yay), and apparently, I'm not supposed to drink now at all either. Something about liver enzymes. What? That one surprised me, because I drink a small fraction of what I did a few years ago. Oh well. Chamomile tea with lowfat milk actually works pretty well for a calming effect in the evening. And drinking to get wasted and act silly lost it's novelty around age 22.

So now I'm a 26 y/o on blood pressure and cholesterol medications.... not really something I wanted to be. On the good side though, because of that, everything is still reversable if I continue with the changes I've made. I've lost a considerable amount of weight already by exercising but I'm not arguing with anyone that my diet was usually not the best. And if I can turn this around now, I should.

To put thing into perspective - my goal weight for next year was what I actually weighed when I was 12 years old. Yep. I maintained the size 16-ish range since about age 13/14 or so, then in my early 20's put on a lot of weight and went up to a size 24... which I lost and now I'm back at that same 14/16 range again. I've been there a long time, so I've always identified myself as being that size, and I was actually okay self-esteem wise.... until now. Go figure.

That's life though. Health is more important than sugar.

All Around

2009-02-19T11:19:00.001-08:00

Recent events at the job actually caused me to (in a nice, professional-phrased way) threaten to leave earlier today. I've never actually done that before, but something had to be said, and I'm glad I did. I was never the type to do things like that before - where did those balls come from? (LOL)

I also have a follow up with a regular family doctor tomorrow afternoon. My BP is still on the high side (130-140 range usually), though definitely not dangerously high like before where I was over 180. Probably just need to up the dosage or switch meds... the ER dr. said originally he would start out on a low dose of the other med and to follow up to increase the dosage with a regular doctor once my body adjusted to it. So it makes sense.

In sad news, please pray (if you pray) or send thoughts for John's dad/family. His dad's health is beginning to decline and last he heard his kidneys are having trouble. I don't know his exact age, but he is around 80 (John is child #6 of 7 total), so that's really not good news. It would also cost J nearly $2,000 for him to fly back to Africa, so if it takes a bad turn, he might not even be able to go. :(

Deathmobile Update, Tornado Safety, and Good Eatin'

2009-02-12T15:38:00.000-08:00

What are you really supposed to do if you live in a third story apartment, and you are anti-social and don't make friends on the first floor, and a tornado siren goes off? This happened to me and Dawn on Tuesday night. We decided to take a wine bottle and go into our laundry room. It seemed like the best solution. Even if you google it, there's not much advice for apartments, other than "go to the first floor" which doesn't really work, because then we'd be outside which seems worse.... or go to an interior room. A tornado actually hit Colleyville that night (only 6-7 miles west of Grapevine), which what made me a little concerned for the upcoming spring.

I am finally legally and officially no longer attached to the Deathmobile (aka my 1993 Ford Taurus). After months of interstate paperwork and DMV drama, John and I spent like 30 mins at the Denton Co. office today trying to take care of it once and for all. Half the paperwork is from CA, half the paperwork from TX. We live only a few miles apart, but are in separate counties because of how close to the Tarrant/Denton border I am. Oh, joy of joys.To make things even more confusing, on the original title it had "Kristen or Jonathan" (my dad) as the owner of record, and we were transferring to "John"... Poor lady's head nearly exploded. Especially when I explained Jonathan was my father, and she thought Jonathan was John at that point. The look on her face was actually kind of funny. She looked at him, then looked at me, like "Ummm...Ok, how did that happen?" (lol)

Anyway. What else. I'm already down 10 lbs since my initial doctor appt 3 weeks ago that first alerted me to the blood pressue problem. Some of that was probably water weight though, since the medicine they put me on is a diuretic. But still, I'll take it. I have been eating really well though - almost all fruits, veggies, salads, and whole grains, and tea instead of sodas and coffee. I have cut back on red meat too, along with salty foods.... Some days eating totally vegetarian. And the thing is, it's really not that bad at all. I've discovered some new things I really like. Onions, garlic, and black pepper are supposed to be good, so I use that for a lot of flavoring instead of salt and oils. And oh, I also really love these: http://skinnycow.com/

Lastly, THIS made me laugh hysterically earlier. Because I'm mean like that.

Cute Overload

2009-02-09T15:21:00.001-08:00

My dad sent me this via email today:

"You may need an insulin shot after watching this sweetness:

http://videos.komando.com/2009/02/02/cat-bunny/ "

TGIF

2009-02-06T10:59:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was bad on several levels. I was glad to see it go. Work has been increasing stressful this week due to some personal drama going on behind the scenes. Nothing that effects my life directly right now, and I don't want to gossip on a public blog obviously, but it's just been stressful trying to hold things together. When it's a small office, and bad things are happening to people in that office, it easily effects everyone's mood. Plus I'm still adjusting to some of the changes I've had to make in my life recently as well. All I can say is... I'm glad this week is almost over, and that things are relatively peaceful today. TGIF!

Today has been more peaceful. I fell asleep early last night watching the longest movie ever (The Oldest Living Confederate Widow Tells All ... even the title is long). I didn't make it all the way to the end, and I almost sent it back on Netflix today anyway. I really don't know how I feel about it, and I usually love historical dramas about wars and American history and whatnot, but the acting is pretty bad. I couldn't believe it actually won an award. And NO ONE wants to see Diane Lane and Donald Southerland have sex, I am sorry, but.... the EWWW-factor there was quite high. Even still, I decided I still want to see the end. I invested 2.5 hours already. I think it's about 4 total, might as well finish it.

I finally got my papers back from the CA DMV on the 1993 Taurus. That only took like what... 3 months? Ugh. I thought I would never (legally) be able to get rid of that car the way things were going (explained in the previous post how the title got lost, and it was titled in CA still, and I live and registered it in Texas... and CA DMV is just sucky about figuring out and processing things like that, apparently).

Update

2009-02-04T11:27:00.000-08:00

Between going off of hormonal meds, starting a new blood pressure med, and avoiding caffiene except for an occasional cup of black or green tea, it's been an interesting week.

Monday I really didn't feel well, but since then it's gradually getting better. If I can live without caffiene after the withdrawal subsides, I actually might just keep it that way for good. My BP was at 130/84 last night. The previous night my readings were in the mid-140's, and about 20 pts higher the day I started the new medication. So it's working. I know once the dizziness from the medication switch and the tired feeling wears off I'll probably feel a LOT better than I was before. I'm definitely a lot calmer.

I've actually done well so far with eating too... a lot of whole grains, brown rice, beans, and fruits and vegetables. Garlic and pepper are supposed to be good too, which has proved to be a good way to replace table salt for enchanced flavor. I definitely want to try making more fish too as a red meat alternative, though I haven't cooked a lot of fish in the past so I'm not sure where to start. Any recipe ideas for that would be helpful.

Work has been non-stop drama this week also. I really hope next week things will calm down. I need some time off!

Under Pressure

2009-02-02T15:05:00.000-08:00

So today's lesson is all about hypertension (high blood pressure). In fact, my whole weekend was one big lesson about hypertension. Not what I expected.

I have a strong family history of hypertension. Both of my parents had it really young and I've had multiple relatives diagnosed with it also. I knew my risk, but always figured I would know if it got to that point, but,well... found out the hard way that you don't have to have any obvious symptoms for it to be bad.

A week or so ago, I had a routine annual check-up at a woman's clinic. My blood pressure reading was the highest it's ever been - over 160 (yikes, I know). I had probably had about a gallon of caffiene that day, and gotten stuck behind one of those 15-mile long trains on Belt Line Rd on the way to the appointment, so I was rushing, and also had to pee really bad, so... they told me to come back on Saturday when I hadn't had anything, and when there was no traffic. I did. It was still pushing 170/100 at that point. (normal is below 120/80... anything over 160 is just plain bad). So then they called the nurse practictioner in, who told me to stop taking one of the meds I was on right away, since if I continued to do so I would be at risk of having a stroke or an anerysm (That really did not help my blood pressure either.) She then told me to call someone to take me to the ER as soon as possible (also did not help blood pressure). I called John, and we went back to my apt to dig my new insurance card out of my disorganized mail pile. He then took me to Lewisville Medical Center, and we waited for a good 3-4 hours to even get seen... by the time they took me in the back, my reading was around 198/something. I even had one reading over 200. I was really not feeling well by that point as you can imagine, so I'm not sure what the exact number was. The nurses were all standing there looking at me like it was a miracle I hadn't passed out yet.... and apologizing for making me wait so long. (I got in the back really quickly after that.)

Several needles, a pee test, an x-ray and an EKG later - I was officially diagnosed as having level-2 hypertension. Great. At least with all the tests they were able to rule out any other cause or organ problems, but still. They gave me something to bring it down temporarily, and the doctor gave me a prescription for hydrochlorothiazide. They're starting me out on a low dose of it to gradually build it up, since it can make you dizzy and cause headaches at first. I've been dragging most of the day, though that might also be partly due to cutting back on caffiene. I hope it gets better over time. I also need to lose about 25-30 more pounds to get below the "red line" for my height/weight on the BMI chart. Great. But if it helps this, then I have to do it. It's not an option.

I have been moving in an overall postive direction body-wise but definitely still don't make the best choices concerning what I eat, though I exercise fairly regularly. I can't do any high-intensity cardio until it gets down to a safer level after taking the medication for while. I acutally like doing yoga/pilates a lot more than high-impact cardio anyway.

So - if you have a family history of this.... definitely check your BP. At my annual exam in 2008, my reading was right around 120/80, so it's happened sometime since then. I'm also trying to cut back on caffiene. Admittedly, I was drinking a LOT on a daily basis - usually coffee all morning, then green or black tea all afternoon. This morning I had black tea instead of coffee, which has about 1/2 half the caffiene content, and only one cup. I'm actually doing ok so far, not as bad as I thought. No headache, just a bit sluggish. I'll probably have less insmonia at least.

Dawn also got me some really good fruity herbal tea (by Celestial Seasons) that is naturally sweet without any added sugar or any calories at all, which has been helping a lot with sweet cravings. I also really appreciated John for sticking it out with me at the ER for about 9 hours, reading me jokes on his cell phone and saying mean things about people on TV to make me laugh. I'm sure that helped everything stabilize as well. (Now he wants to get me an in-home blood pressure monitor and keeps making me eat fruits and vegetables.... he looks out for me pretty well, I have to say.) And I appareciate all my friends who were calling to check on me too, of course. I never even was actually admitted into the actual hospital and still got so much love. One of the reasons I am so grateful for my life here!

So - I'm using my blog to hold me accountable, just like I did when I first started working out. Today I did not have any coffee, just some black tea in the morning and some green tea in the afternoon, along with the fruit tea when I wanted candy. I'm also hitting Sprouts (Natural Food/Produce store) on the way home from the office today instead of a drive-through or cheap pizza. Gotta start somewhere!

Sad

2009-01-29T10:55:00.000-08:00

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/Music/01/29/obit.lynyrd.skynyrd/index.html?section=cnn_latest

I met Billy Powell a couple times during the late 1990's. Lynyrd Skynyrd was one of my favorite bands during my teen years. I was kind of obsessed to an unhealthy level, actually (lol). Their original incarnation was a little bit before my time, but I saw the 2nd-generation variation with Johnny Van Zant in concert multiple times.

Although a lot has happened in my life since then, whenever I hear one of those old LS songs, it always makes me happy to remember those times now.

R.I.P. Billy! Thanks for the memories. Hope you're having an awesome time getting caught up with your old friends in the great beyond.

The Ice Man Sucketh

2009-01-28T16:19:00.000-08:00

This little on/off-ramp drama was going on FOREVER on the news this morning. Unfortunatley this doesn't include my favorite part, where the anchorman was saying "Go Thunderbird Go!" LOL.

They need to just declare a paid holiday for all of North Texas/The Metroplex if there is ice accumulation of any kind during a weekday. Everyone gets paid to STAY HOME. Why? Because this is what happens every time there is an icy commute.

http://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/Who_is_the_Ramp_Champ__Dallas-Fort_Worth.html

Ice Ice Baby

2009-01-27T15:04:00.001-08:00

This is my third winter in North Texas, and I still despise the ice. Even more than snow. Ice is hard to see and it's difficult to gauge that freezing/just cold mark as far as the roads go. If it's actually snowing, everyone completely freaks out and everything closes, so you can usually just stay home from whatever without it being a problem.

This is the latest update from WFAA.com...http://www.wfaa.com/sharedcontent/dws/wfaa/latestnews/stories/wfaa090126_wz_winterwx.5c53ba1.htmlThe National Weather Service has issued an Ice Storm Warning for most of North Texas through 6 a.m. Wednesday. Ice accumulations will be light during the day today, but more significant icing is expected between 6 p.m. Tuesday and 3 a.m. Wednesday. The warning means travel is likely to become exremely dangerous or impossible.

Yeah, by the way, in true North Texas fashion, 4 days ago it was almost 80 degrees.

Ok, going home now... just in time to see the news coverage of all the cars spinning on the Dallas High Five. I hate January. At least I only commute about 3-4 miles now, and on no major freeways.

Gooey

2009-01-26T15:56:00.000-08:00

I don't know how I feel about these:

http://www.mymms.com/gifts/?src=112228&sc_cid=P_GG_P2_N00_MA9CON00PGGP2111

On the one hand, I think they're cute, but one the other hand, they seem kind of stalker-ish. Putting your sweetie's face on an M&M for them to eat just seems kind of weird.

Der.

2009-01-26T11:27:00.000-08:00

Somoene just sent me the Bill Gates chain letter. You know, the one where supposedly Microsoft is going to pay you for each email you forward. I had thought that one had died out before I graduated from high school.

Unless you just NOW saw the internet for the first time ever, there is just no excuse for that in the year 2009. That bogus chain letter has been going around since the mid-1990's, And think about it - even though someone's brother in law's fifth cousin twice removed swears they received a check for $10,000... why would Bill Gates (or Walt Disney Jr., or any other variation) just start cutting people random checks? They didn't get to be CEO's by doing that. And wouldn't that be on the news? (The actual news, not the alledged news source cited in the chain letter).

Please do not forward these things to people. If you have any doubts about crowding your friends' inboxes with forwards like this - check out Snopes.com.

Good film finds

2009-01-23T15:40:00.000-08:00

Sometimes Netflix is a little bit "off" in its recommendations for me. Like the time it recommended a Sinbad standup because I rated "Born Into Brothels" highly.... which is a documentary about the children of prostitutes in Calcutta's red light district. Um, ok....? I did like really that film, but failed to see a Sinbad stand-up comedy connection. It also recommended a Sesame Street DVD to me revcently because I rated "The Color Purple" highly. Again... what?

But here are a couple recent ones it recommended for me that that I've gotten in the past week, both of with I completely loved for different reasons:

Outsourced: Funny/sweet story about a call center manager (Todd) whose entire department in Seattle gets outsourced to a small town in India. His boss sends him there to train his replacement until the department is up to speed. To add to the fun, the company sells western novelty products (like the big plastic cheeseheads) that the new employees don't quite get. There's also a cute international romance storyline thrown in.... but it's not really cheesy or predictable at all. It was unique and quite funny and interesting, and respectful towards Indian and American cultures alike.

God Grew Tired Of Us: Entirely different from "Outsourced"... This is a documentary that follows three young men who are members of the "Lost Boys" that had been separated from their families during the violent conflict in Sudan. They get the opportunity to come to the US after spending several years in a refugee camp in Kenya. There is some footage and explanation of the conflict in Sudan in the beginning, then it follows them from Kenya to the US. Watching them coming the US and experiencing things like electricity, running water, and supermarkets (and donuts!) for the first time definitely makes you realize that with everything we complain about in the US, there are so many things that we take for granted on a daily basis. A definite must-see. I think the title might turn some people off of it, but it doesn't focus on the religous aspect of the conflict at all in that way. That actually comes from when one of the Lost Boys was talking about his state of mind as a little boy fleeing the Sudan in the desert- (paraphrasing here), when he thought that God had become tired of his creation because humans had become so violent and unkind. Wow. It really puts a human face on what's happening in that part of the world.

For some reason, just made me smile...

2009-01-23T10:48:00.000-08:00

see Sarah Palin pictures

W In Big D

2009-01-21T10:56:00.000-08:00

No matter how you feel about Obama, you gotta love his family. I don't think those two little girls stopped smiling once yesterday. And I like how he is with his wife too... they don't seem too fake or cold like some other political couples - from the left or the right.

Speaking political families, while the days of W might be over for everyone else, George and Laura are moving to a spiffy Dallas neighborhood that is less than hour or so from where I live... actually not far at all from where I used to live. I think they are still visiting Midland (last I heard anyway) where Bush grew up, but they're on their way. Every night on the news there is a live update from their new crib, along with all the security/secret service upgrades and police everywhere. It's crazy. Some people in the neighborhood are over there protesting I think.... I don't know. I guess they have the right to if they want, but he's out of office now, so I fail to see what the point of that really is, other than being upset over all the activity going on in the neighborhood. It just seems like there are more important national issues to tackle now, other than Bush moving to Dallas. Time to move on!

Why People Hate The DMV

2009-01-19T11:43:00.001-08:00

Listen up if you've moved out of California and registered a vehicle in another state.... The California DMV tells you if you receive a registration notice after you've moved out of state to write on the notice the vehicle was registered out state of state and send the notice back. I did this about three times in 2007. Finally, I never heard anything, and assumed it had been taken care of.

A couple months ago, I sent in a form to get a duplicate title for my barely-breathing old Ford Taurus. John had assumed care of it, since he likes to work on cars, and that car will probably provide enough "projects" to keep him occupied for the next 20 years. Since I had originally planned on just donating it due to its bad condition, I was just going to transfer it to him since it breaks down all the time anyway and I actually got it for free from a relative in the first place. (He still tried to give me money for it, but I honestly didn't even care, since I was ready to push it off the Lewisville Lake bridge at the point I got my current vehicle) In looking through my paperwork though, I realized I'd lost the title during the California - Texas move at some point. And the state of Texas told me that I had to go through the original state (California) to get a copy, since I had used my CA registration as ownership evidence to register it here, and not the actual physical title. Anyway. That's the long back story.

A month after I sent the request form in, the CA DMV sent me a change of address form to fill out to complete the process. I thought - "Um, okay, thought I did this already but whatever...." and sent it back like they requested. Another month went by, and still no friggin title, so I called their 800 number only to find out that they are showing that I've had delinquent registration for 2 years, and now want proof that the car has been registered in another state since 2007 because of all the fees and crap. Once they clear up all the fees, then I can get my replacement title. All because they hadn't been '"notified" even though I sent back the notices like they said to do. Mulptiple times. Arrrgh. And why this hadn't been including with any of the prior correspondence regardng the title, who knows.

So... If you're moving out of California, I'd send a copy of the updated registration back to be safe with the renewal notice instead of just scribbling on there that it's somewhere else now. Apparently I'm not the only one who has had this issue with them before. Luckily I have everything I need to send them, including a receipt from when everything was transferred back in 2007 but still. Annoying. If this doesn't work, I'm going to fly over there and kick Arnold's butt myself.

Random Thought O' The Day

2009-01-15T15:27:00.000-08:00

Whenever I talk lately, I realize how similiar my voice sounds to my mom's now and it's kinda freaking me out.

That's all.

When you can't wear white...

2009-01-14T10:48:00.000-08:00

Sanrio goes too far.

http://uglydress.com/helkitweddre.html

WHY?

Lifestyles of the broke and unknown

2009-01-13T11:06:00.000-08:00

I live on a tight budget, and economic downturn has been a part of my life for years now. Currently, I have to pay with cash for everything (no credit cards) because of irresponsible decisions made when I was younger, but I actually consider it a blessing. I simply cannot spend money I don't have and have to live within my means. I'm working on paying things off and cleaning up my credit, but it takes time. I wish I had more savings, but I haven't overdrafted my bank account in years. I probably won't be able to buy a house or finance a new vehicle anytime soon, but it's not a big deal. I've never had those things anyway. Living in an apartment actually isn't that bad, at least not in comparison with my old complex in Carrollton. I was slightly embarrassed last night though because a neighbor complained about me exercising above them. Oops. I guess maybe I should just stick to yoga/pilates for in-home exercise if I'm on the 3rd floor.... LOL

So concerning this subject last night, I was talking to John while watching a story on "Nightline" about home prices dropping. They were talking about Dallas in particular, showing a fairly nice looking modest 3-bedroom, one story house originally listed at $130k that had dropped down to about 99k, and now is a good time to buy if you're looking to do so (with what loan? I missed that part of the story).. Our (not-so-serious) commentary went something like this:

J: Want to buy a house?
K: Sure, why not.
J: Okay. We'll need $10,000 down though.
K: Well, I have $85 in my savings account right now.
J: I have $95.
K: Ok, so we just need $9,820 now.
J: Maybe we could apply for a credit card and use that.
K: I can't get one anymore.
J: Me either, if I tried to apply, my rejection letter would say "hell no."
K: Oh well. It's better not to have those anyway.
(pause)
J: I guess we'll have to buy a trailer then. Then we can just unhook it and drive it away if we have to.
k: 'kay.

(I'm guessing I'll just have to get used to apartments for now...)

The scary thing is though... while we obviously weren't being serious about buying a house (or trailer home), part of the reason we're in this economic mess we're in is because banks actually were giving home loans to people like this. Wow.

16 Random Things About Me

2009-01-12T15:20:00.001-08:00

Tagged By Brittany. I don't like to tag the unwanted, so do it if you're bored and/or want to.

1. I have used my psychology minor more than any other part of my degree in my post-college life.
2. I love nasty canned fish - sardines, herring, tuna, etc. Especially with hot pepper and ramen noodles. It makes the kitchen stink but that's what air freshener is for. I used to make fun of my dad for eating stinky canned fish. Now I do it.... must be the Scandanavian roots kicking in.
3. I occasionally eat a pint of ice cream for dinner. I've gotten better about this with a roommate though. It was easier when I lived by myself and no one else witnessed it. Same goes for Krispy Kreme.
4. I have lived in 7 different dwellings with my cat, Starr. We travel as a unit.
5. I started going gray at only 23 years old. I only had one visable one I could yank out for awhile, but now there's too many to pull out and I just go for the dye now. LOL
6. I moved to the Dallas area partly because of a dream I had in April 2006 that I moved there and really liked it. I had been considering relocation to Texas already at that point, but not Dallas in particular. I visited in August 2006, and was living here by November.
7. Nearly all of my roommates were completely crazy prior to moving to Texas. I've got stories. (yay craigslist...)
8. I wrote an entire novel loosely based on an experience I had working in an old department store a few years ago. Initial feedback has been good, but I haven't decided really want I want to do with it yet. It's kind of trashy. LOL
10. I was obsessed with Neil Young when I was in 6th grade. Before that I was obsessed with the Doobie Brothers and wanted to marry their guitar player for awhile. I was old school... I had a huge vinyl collection at one point actually. I don't think I listened to anything post-70's until high school, really.
11. My first kiss was in Mexico when I was 16. On a high school church/missions trip... with a local kid named Julio.... I was obviously a good example. (well, it wasn't like a total make-out kiss... just a lip-kiss! LOL)
12. This is hard! Um... nearly everyone I've had a relationship with has been of a different cultural background than me. (not that there's been a ton of people, and no I don't count Julio. LOL). This wasn't intentional, it's just worked out that way... but I've learned a lot.
13. This was the first year I've actually had a car with a CD player in it. My old one had a cassette deck.... that I shamelessly still used on a regular basis.
14. I still don't have an ipod. I've been meaning to get one, I'm so behind on the times, I know.
15. I lost one of my solar nails at Sprouts (organic store) yesterday. I'm not sure where it wound up, I think I lost it somewhere around the cheese. I'm going to the nail salon today, since now I only have 9 nails. (did anyone really need to know that?)
16. I used to overdub my voice on a recorder and make up "group" songs and radio shows when I was around 10-12. (That's what happens when you're an only child). I still have the tapes in an archive case somewhere. I'd be afraid to listen to them. But I'd never throw them away.

Babies Everywhere

2009-01-12T11:28:00.000-08:00

I am going to be 26 in two weeks. No longer "early 20's." Only borderline "mid-20's." Now going into "late-20's."

Babies are getting increasingly cute every year. Even when they scream and poop, I think they're still cute and I want to hold everyone's baby now. Stupid biological clock. I used to not even want kids. What happened? I think I'm just surrounded by babies now. Several of my local friends have babies. My far-away friends are posting their babies all over MySpace and Facebook. Babies, babies, babies.

Ok, just to make it clear - I am not currently pregnant or planning on having a baby anytime soon. I'm not slamming anyone who has decided not to have a baby. Just an observation, so put the knitting needles down! LOL.

I was thinking that maybe 30 would be a good age, if I'm in the right situation. Then I realized... that is only 4 years away now. LOL

TGIF

2009-01-09T11:12:00.001-08:00

more animals

Red Hair = Green Envy

2009-01-08T14:44:00.000-08:00

For those of you who knew me in high school, I had a major crush on Conan O'Brien. Ever seen the late 90's teen movie "Sugar & Spice"? I was Cleo. I really was, I'm not kidding. It went on from about age 14-16 (1997-1999), and this was back in the day of VHS, so I taped the show EVERY night if it wasn't a rerun... because, you know, it was on at 12:30 in the morning. I had over 20 tapes at one point. I even made mix tapes of songs that reminded me of him, and I had a crazy fansite that might still be floating around cyberspace somewhere, for all I know. LOL. This was back in the day when Andy Ritcher was still on the show and before Conan was married and had two kids (I still think it was funnier then, but it's been so long a lot of people don't even remember that now, yes I'm getting older.) I told John about this a few months ago and now he always calls Conan my "boyfriend." If he calls around 11:30 (when it airs here), he's always asking, "Are you watching your boyfriend?" lol. This was 10 years ago we're talking about now. Although, I have to say I think it's impressive that Conan actually looks exactly the same as he did then.

Last night we were talking on the phone when John was watching some actress on Jimmy Kimmel. I wasn't watching Jimmy Kimmel because I was watching my "boyfriend." John commented on how the actress was "hot" and I said I wasn't watching it because Conan was on. He then went off on a tangent about how stupid Conan's hair was, that he's had stupid hair for 15 years and will always have "stupid hair." (Notice how I made absolutely no comment about him mentioning the actress, yet he's jealous of my crush from 10 years ago...lol. Boys.) This isn't the even first time this has happened in my relationships either. I've had similar Conan-envy incidents in the past after sharing my past obsession with him. When I was 16, when I said my future boyfriend/husband would be jealous of Conan, I didn't actually think that was true. I was in high school. LOL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On another note, today would have been my Grandpa Glen's 89th birthday. Happy birthday grandpa! It's hard to believe it'll be 13 years this April....

(Halloween 1987)

Cold Enough For Ya? Hot Enough For Ya? Icy Enough....

2009-01-05T10:50:00.000-08:00

If one more person says, "If you don't like the weather in Texas, wait five minutes" I'm going to hit something.

That's all.

Resolutions In Review

2009-01-02T11:03:00.000-08:00

2008 Resolutions:

Make new friends and meet new people... get more involved socially
My circle of friends definitely increased quite a bit, which is really good. I haven't had a weekend that involved me watching infomercials (at least not alone) for awhile. Not living by myself helps with this one too - less chance of being a hermit.

To be less of a pushover and stand up for myself
I've definitely gotten better at this one. I grew up with a bad habit of pushing my feelings down, not wanting to rock the boat and avoiding conflict. But there's a difference between being offensive and just being honest when necessary. I think my current relationships are a lot healthier as a result.

To see more of the area I live in... explore more instead of hiding out in suburbia Ooo... fail. fail fail fail. I need to work on this one this year. I did make it Ft Worth a couple times, and Dallas a couple times... yeah, this one needs work.

Continue working on diet and exercise and losing weight
Pretty good. I've lost about 25 lbs since my annual exam last January. Hopefully this trend continues - I've been dropping about 20-30 lbs a year since 2005. I need one more year like that and I should be good for just maintaining.... (lol)

Nothing significantly new for 2009, other than to just keep working on the above.

Spirit of Giving

2008-12-31T11:01:00.000-08:00

This definitely was one of the best (true) Christmas stories from this year:

A woman who goes to my church in Flower Mound had volunteered for a holiday event that was intended for kids from lower-income neighborhood. She was in charge of the line to see Santa. One little girl, at the very end of the day, was really eager to see Santa, but the chaperon had been busy helping with her group so she hadn't had a chance to see him. When the volunteers asked her why she needed to see Santa, she replied she just wanted a pair of tennis shoes.

When the lady told this story to the pastor and a small group of people at the church a few days later, they were able to get in touch with the girl's guardian through her school. The background story was that the girl (who was about 7 I believe) had been one of four children who was living with a grandmother that had passed away in September. The parents were not involved in the kids' lives, so a single great aunt took over the care of the 4 kids - ranging in ages from about 7 to 12. She had been retired, but wound up having to go back to work full-time after taking on the kids. She had also lost her own son a couple months earlier after a long illness.

With an email that was sent out to a small group of people on a Friday night, and a short announcement at the church the following Sunday, the lady who volunteered was able to collect several outfits for each for all four of the kids, along with essentials like socks and underwear, along with some toys, and several gift cards for the great aunt for things like groceries and supplies. She delivered everything with her husband and family on the Tuesday before Christmas to the little girl's house.

And that just goes to show what a little faith and generosity can accomplish.

Happy New Year!

Analog?!

2008-12-31T10:38:00.000-08:00

This parody of the annoying DTV transition PSA's has been circulating, so you may have seen this, but I still love it.

I love sarcasm and all, but...

2008-12-30T11:08:00.000-08:00

I still thought this article on ivillage was way over-the-top in snarkiness and just downright mean:

http://entertainment.ivillage.com/slideshow/entertainment/top_10_hoped_for_celebrity_breakups_of_2009/who_should_split_up_in_09.html?nlcid=in12-30-2008

I can see putting an abusive relationship in there... but these are just celebrities who seem to annoy the author for whatever reason. In everyday life, there are always couples who look weird or don't make sense to other people, but unless someone is being abused or obviously taken advantage of, seriously -who cares? Why would you wish divorce/heartbreak on people? Espeically people with kids? Really now.

Okay, off the internet and back to actual work.

Holiday Review 2008

2008-12-29T15:49:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone had a good Christmas!

Mine was quiet, and pretty mellow for the most part. I was up late on Christmas Eve, when John (my guy) and Hulay (his niece) came over for awhile, since my roommate was gone, after Christmas Eve service at Northcrest.

On Christmas Day, my mom called at 10:30 am Texas time (8:30 Pacific) and was like "What do you mean, you're just getting up?" My favorite part of the exchange involved a debate over whether it was worse that my dad was eating the chocolate candy already or the fact that my mom was putting Bailey's in her coffee already. I miss my parents. (lol)

Anyhoo... in the afternoon, I just I went to spend time with some close friends in Flower Mound who are also Bay Area transplants. It was mostly centered around eating and playing Wii. My friends' kindergarten-age daughter beat me at Wii tennis multiple times. In fact, if their 4 month old could sit up, he probably could have beaten me at Wii tennis too. But I did a lot better on the Wii bowling. The older daughter pulled out some crazy Super Mario Galaxy game that made me feel really old, because... I could remember playing the first Super Mario game ever. In the late 80's. In fact, I preferred that version to the new one, because this new one made me feel dizzy and confused and I couldn't figure out what was going on. I wanted my old grainy 2-dimensional NES version back.

I wound up seeing John later in the evening, because he had a crazy week at work trying to cram 5 days into 3 by working 12-13 hour days, and really needed to sleep. He bought me a new digital camera for Christmas, which I'm sure I will use for my blog once I figure out how to use it. I had still been using an older chunky 2.0 megapixel model that I had gotten for Christmas about 7 or 8 years ago, and it had been not working so well over the past year... understandably, since not only was it old, but I had used it a LOT. I couldn't quite financially justify upgrading to the one I wanted to get, so it was a really nice surprise. Once I figure it out, I should have a lot of new pictures. (Luckily it seems easier to figure out than the Mario galaxy game.)

On Saturday I started to feel crappy though. I'm used to Texas weather changing rapidly at this point, but even my roommate, Dawn (a Dallas-area native) agreed with me that the past month has been wackier weather-wise than December usually is. It's not unusual to have a 40-50 degree temperature change within a couple hours during December, but it seems like it's happening a couple times a week, and everyone keeps getting sick as a result. Plus it's just annoying. One day you're wearing flip flops, and next day is parka time. You really have to pay attention to the weather news to avoid wearing the wrong clothes... I"m not kidding. I actually did have the AC and the heater on within a 24 hour period over the weekend. (That's not just a Texas joke, it actually happens.) Human immune systems don't seem to like it either. I've been fighting something nasty off since Saturday, and I know people who have become sick multiple times during this season.

Luckily with a Target gift card, I bought season nine of the "Simpsons" which at least made me feel justified in lying on the couch all weekend. I took NyQuil on Saturday... and remembered why I never take it. I dreamed that I called John in the middle of the night and we had a really detailed conversation about NyQuil. I brought it up when I (really) talked to him the next day, because I actually thought it was a real conversation... and realized it never actually happened, I only dreamed it during some weird NyQuil trip. I also slept through my church alarm. I had a dream that my phone kept ringing, and I couldn't turn it off... which was actually my alarm. (lol). No more NyQuil for awhile.

And needless to say.... after reading my entries from this time last year...despite crazy weather making me sick, Christmas 2008 = 100000x better than Christmas 2007. Fo sho.

Intro to My Blogger Blog

2008-12-29T15:13:00.000-08:00

I've officially moved my blog from MySpace to Blogger. I was hardly on MySpace anymore, aside from occasionally checking on friends and sharing new pictures. Hopefully I'll update this one more.

Me in a nusthell incase you've never read my previous blog: I moved from San Francisco Bay Area to Dallas-Ft Worth in the fall of 2006. It was the probably the craziest thing I ever did. Who drives across the country in a 14 year old Ford Taurus with a suitcase, a box of old journals, $1,800, and a tramautized cat in the backseat on top of the suitcase? Yup - me. It's hard to explain, but I just knew that's where I needed to be, and it's actually worked it really well. I miss my friends and assorted Californian family, but not really California itself (especially it's cost of living - a factor in my decision to move) . Except maybe during spring. I used to complain about *rain* in the spring in California. Now if it's only raining in the spring here, I am grateful. It's better than "baseball sized" hail, severe thunderstorms, and tornado sirens going off on a weekly basis. (My first spring here - in 2007- I was probably hiding in the closet from March 1st - May 31st...). I was living and surviving in California the past few years, but really feel like I found "home" here after a lot of unexpected life changes and drama transpired.

What other facts.... I am a month away from turning 26. I graudated from St. Mary's College in 2004 with a liberal arts degree, and am currently in a field that really has nothing to do with my degree, but works for now. (I am involved in outside activities related to it, though. Like blogging). I've been keeping regular journals since I was nine years old. I have been divorced for almost 4 years, and don't have kids. I am an only child, and am currently in a relationship with a guy who is child number six of a total of seven kids (yes, all from one mom and one dad). I still obsessively play Super Mario 3 and Marble Madness on my old Nintendo gameboy. I also have a roommate, and between us we have four cats, which probably makes us crazy cat people, but oh well. (in our defense though, only one is mine, and she moved from a house and had to downsize, so...).

I'm not sure what I will do with my blog. In the past I've used blogs to communicate with friends and family far away, and also to amuse my local friends. I don't really want to conform to a specific theme right now. At least in the beginning, I plan to do mostly personal updates, observational humor, and posting funny YouTube videos. Then maybe it eventually will get more profound. We'll see.